The Sneezers

 

The Sneezers

Anthropologists study human civilization, culture, society, psychology, philosophy, religion, and language.  That’s a wide scope, so it’s divided into derivative specialties.  Mine is linguistics, which includes early languages and nonverbal communication.   My sub-specialty is pre-lingual body language, which includes hand signs, grunts, and bodily functions.  Like sneezing.  My research began with the Sneezers of the Amazon, who live deep in tropical forests and communicate primarily through sneezes.  For example, a long sneeze means “Hello,” a short sneeze means “Goodbye,” and a double sneeze means “We should get together again sometime.”  There’s more to it, but allow me to move on to the Burp people of Tanzania. 

Subcontinental Indian lore had it that the original Sanskrit came from the Burpers, who emanated a staccato of burbs in series, not unlike our morse code.  Until this day, in many modern cultures, one burb means “Supper was great,” Two burps mean “Thanks, Mom,” and three burps mean “Dad, let’s watch the game.”

Then there are the Farters of Mozambique.  Their language consisted of high squeaky piccolo farts all the way down to trembling tuba farts.  The Farters were loners who didn’t share caves.    

Hiccups are still a mystery.  Because they are so repetitive and involuntary, they may have originated as religious rituals or war dances.  Some say hiccups are just a way of saying “Not tonight, I have a headache.”  Congress has authorized massive funding to study hiccups’ effect on global warming.    

Lastly: yawning.  Contrary to popular opinion, yawners are not sleepy or bored.  I’ve just finished a study of my own lecture students and concluded that yawning is an expression of keen interest.