We Don't Care

 

We Don’t Care

The year: 2099. The question everyone’s asking: Are men necessary? Our national reserve sperm stockpile has enough seed to populate the entire solar system, so we don’t need men to make love to plastic cups in fertility clinics anymore. Soldiers no longer need to be big strong men who can carry bazookas and stingers, because war is waged by reformed teen hackers with joysticks at digital consoles in secure coffee shops. Men are no longer needed to raise children while their wives are at work since universal daycare re-education centers are mandated on every street corner. Men are unnecessary, and they don’t care.

We haven’t had a white president since BLM News defeated Fox in the ratings wars of 2050. Books by white authors are banned now, as are re-runs of Mayberry and Friends. Some white people went back to Europe where they came from. Other whites are hiding in the mountains of Tennessee and Kentucky. They home-school their kids in particle physics and banjo. They’re all brilliant, but can’t get into Harvard, where most students now major in 8th grade English. White people are endangered, and they don’t care.

Yesterday the NSA dropped by our home to inspect our laptops, look at our streaming history, and recharge our ankle bracelets. They asked our five-year-old if we’d ever abused him verbally, owned any firearms, or in any way discouraged him from becoming a girl. He said no. That was a close call. We understand that people who looked like us ruined the world with imperialism, colonialism, slavery, and professional football. We agree - it’s all true. But in private, when the agents are gone, after we disable all their microphones and cameras, we huddle together and whisper - we don’t care.