HONEY!

“HONEY!” my wife hollered through the screen door, “HONEY?” I heard, but didn’t listen. “HONNEEY!” she yelled from the porch, getting closer. I started the mower to drown her out. I mowed our lawn, then the neighbor’s. The phone in my shirt pocket vibrated. I just knew it was her. After the neighbor’s yard, I started mowing the next. I didn’t know whose lawn it was, it didn’t matter, as long as I was on the run. My wife caught up with me three houses down, in her car. She pulled up, rolled down her car window, belting out “HONEY!” I turned off the mower, hung my head in surrender, and plodded toward her car, knowing the entire neighborhood was watching my humiliation. “Honey,” she said, “You forgot your pants again. Come on, let me take you home, honey.”