Breaking Up
She looked directly in my eyes and said “I think we
should start seeing other people,” which meant she was already seeing other
people. Why couldn’t she just be honest
and say “I don’t love you anymore?” Then
she’d have a clear conscience and I’d be able to move on with my life
sooner.
My next girlfriend was dishonest too. She didn’t want to tell me to my face that we
were finished, so she accused me of groping and got a restraining order
requiring I stay five hundred feet away.
I called to ask why she lied, but she blocked my number. I emailed her but went straight to spam. If only she could have been honest and just
told me that she no longer loved me.
She’d feel better and I’d have closure.
My third girlfriend really wanted me out of her life
completely. She must have been afraid to
confront me and hurt my feelings, so she faked her death instead. They found her car, burnt to a crisp at the
bottom of a cliff, with a stolen cadaver inside similar to her except for the
dental records. That’s what gave her
away. She went to jail for falsifying dental records and cremation without a permit, and I ended up hurt and confused. Why couldn’t she just tell me she didn’t love
me? She would have felt better about
herself, and she wouldn’t be picking up litter by the highway in an orange
jumper. Why is it so hard to be honest?
So I went to a therapist for answers. She said that maybe it wasn’t my
girlfriends’ fault at all. Maybe it was
me. Maybe I was trying too hard to
maintain failing relationships because deep inside I was trying to win the
approval my mother had never given me. It all made sense. I realized then that my therapist was the
only honest woman I’d ever met. I told
her I’d like to see her for as many appointments as possible for as long as it takes, even
if it takes the rest of my life. She
said no, she couldn’t see me anymore because she was retiring immediately and moving to the
Yukon.
