“GO AWAY!” she shouted.
“LET
ME IN!” the intruder yelled through the door.
“I
CALLED 9-1-1!” screamed Dora, as the pounding rattled the locks and
hinges.
By
the time the police arrived, the intruder had broken the glass and was reaching in for the lock. Dora was banging on his
knuckles with a frying pan.
“HELP!”
Dora cried out.
“HELP!”
cried the madman as well.
“HELP!”
wailed the twins on the couch, watching The
Living Dead on demand.
The
police sprinted up the walk and knocked the intruder face down in the
azaleas. Dora dropped the hockey stick and skillet in the
foyer and burst out the door, yelling, “SHOOT HIM. JUST SHOOT HIM.” The officer tasered the prone intruder until he
flopped around like a fish.
Dragged
to the squad car and cuffed to the door handle, the shocked villain wept. His electric burns were severe.
Dora
said, “Officer, he could have killed me!
What took you so long?”
The
officer said, “Calm down. Are your
parents home?”
Dora
said, “This isn’t my house. I’m just
babysitting here.”
The
policeman took the intruder’s wallet and checked his ID. “Ma’am, the address on his license is the
same as this house. He lives here. Do you know him?”
“Let
me see his face,” she said.
The
officer said, “His ID says his name is Lawrence Higgs. Sound familiar?”
“Oh! That’s Mr. Higgs? He’s the guy I’m babysitting for. I didn’t recognize him. Hi, Mr. Higgs. How was your date?”
Higgs
looked up and said, “Dora, I told you not to lock the deadbolts.”
“I’m
sorry Mr. Higgs, but we were watching zombie movies. We were scared.”
Higgs
said, “You let my little twins watch zombie movies?”
Dora
said, “They said you wouldn’t mind.”
The
officer took Higgs’ cuffs off, and asked, “Do you want an ambulance? You’re still a little shaky.”
“No,”
said Higgs, “I just want to see that the twins are okay.”
The
twins had sneaked out and were hiding behind the police car,
watching and listening. One held a
hockey stick, the other a frying pan.
One said, “Don’t let Daddy bite you.”
The other said, “Aim for his brains.”
